Network.org.au

Here is some advice from other mums, it's really the best tried and tested advice out there...click here to send us your advice too and we'll list it here

Before bub arrives...

• Sign up to Shalom baby and find a mothers group
• Sleep, go out, watch movies!
• Chat to your partner about supporting eachother and what you will both need during the next few weeks

In the first few weeks...

• Sleep when the baby sleeps.
• Don't neglect your relationship wtih your partner, it is especially important after bub arrives
• Don’t worry about tomorrow, just think about what needs to be done next. 
• Manage your family before the baby comes about expectations of them visiting and helping. They can end up overwhelming you when they are trying to help 
• If you don't like the newborn phase, you aren't alone and there is nothing wrong with you. The newborn phase is really really tough and you get little back. You may feel that you are giving more of yourself than you ever have, yet getting the least back. The gratitude and love will come. Don't forget that humans' offspring is amongst the most premature in the animal kingdom. Other mammals give birth to infants that come out and can walk. Be patient, they start off very basic but the love and interaction comes and then we become ridiculously complex adults. It's quite astounding how we develop
• If your husband/partner is tired they cannot help you, try and let them sleep at night so they can be more help in the day. 
• everything including the birth is just a phase so it will end. No day is exactly the same as the day before so if you have a shocker, it is likely to be better the next day but may be worse!
• Get your friends to make meals and freeze them - you wont want to cook for a while, and you need to look after yourself so that you can look after bub.
• It is difficult, but try to get out of the house at least once a day with the bub, even if it's just for a walk.  It will keep you sane.  And, if you have the opportunity, try to take some time for yourself, it will help you re-charge.
• if you don't bond with your bub straight away, don't worry. It will happen. There is nothing wrong with you. Birth can be very traumatic and having your first bub flips your life on it's head in a way you can never imagine or prepare for. Hormones are going crazy. It can all effect the bonding.
• you will get your life back!! For some, the birth of the first is such a huge change and shock to the system that it feels as though your life is totally unrecognizable. It seems inconceivable to think that you will ever be in that comfortable place where you knew what to expect and do each day, where you felt like your were on top of your life. It can be doubly as frightening as the new world is so unknown. Surrounding yourself with as many new mums as possible helps one to learn the new world, the new role and feel like you are not alone in the myriad if new situations you find yourself in. Go the mums group!! Best invention

Breastfeeding...

• Persevere with breastfeeding if you can. Sometimes it feels like it's never going to work, but slowly you and the baby get a lot better at it! Forget what the books say about everything falling into place by 6-8 weeks, its more like 12+ weeks until mum & bub become pro feeders!
• Stretch and try do some exercise to keep your back moving - breastfeeding can give you real backache.
• Breastfeeding is not always easy in the beginning, but if you can stick with it, it gets much easier.  Make small goals (i.e. - just another week) for yourself to get you through it.  And, if it doesn't work for you, that's perfectly okay too.
• breastfeeding can be really tough at the beginning and it can remain tough for a few months. Get professional help with it. Take it week by week. Everyday your bub gets your breastmilk is one more day of heightened immunity, quality nutrition etc. Sometimes it helps just to think from feed to feed and don't think beyond that. Sticking with it though gives you the most wonderful bonding opportunities with your bub and it is hassle free.
• swap hand that you put your wedding or engagement ring on to tell you which boob to feed off next time
• Get a good expressing machine like the Medela and start storing that 'liquid gold' it will come in handy when you want to pop out and get a manicure and leave dad in charge of bottle feeding bub.
• If you are breast feeding, try to express a bit so that your partner (or someone else) can take a turn feeding if you need a break
• Keep a feeding diary. Write down what time, what side and how long the baby fed for. In the first few weeks, it helps you remember which side to start on at each feed.  You will also slowly start to see a pattern forming. Don't expect a routine, but you will be surprised to see there is a vague feeding pattern forming.
• Don't try to plan everything, it's not possible and it will just frustrate you when it doesn't go exactly the way you want it to (this goes for the labour/birth and first few weeks)

Keeping calm...

• Different things work for different people, remember every baby is different
• Communicate your thoughts feelings so that your family knows what you are going through
• Other new mums give the best advice, better then most books.
• Remember that when the baby cries they are not angry with you or upset with you – they just cry to ask you for help 
• You do not need to change your whole life for the baby, keep doing what you are doing and just make some adjustments. Don’t stop doing things you enjoy.  
• Enjoy each day with the baby, remember that when you are at home caring for them many people are out there at work wishing to be in your position right now! 
• Find one thing the baby loves to do and use it as your Plan B when nothing else works. Babies love repetition so even it you are bored of an activity they can still enjoy it. E.g. our baby loved it when my husband danced with her (the rougher the better) so we used this at her grizzly time at the end of the day when everything else had been tried.
• The mums health is paramount. This includes mental health. You need to be physically able to provide for your bub, so eat properly, sleep when u can, and do what the doc says as far as post-birth repair. It's equally important to be mentally healthy, to not feel overwhelmed all of the time, to not feel panic all of the time and to have enough emotional energy to get out of bed and get on with it. If you feel debilitated, panicky and overwhelmed  all the time, you are not alone. So many women experience it and it is no indication of your parenting ability or bond with bub. It is also likely to be temporary so long as it is treated. If you feel like this, ask for help.

Starting solids...

• Getting to the supermarket with a little one can be a real challenge. Try doing your grocery shopping online and having it delivered. It can be a real lifesaver, especially if you are getting bulky or heavy items
• it gets better and better!!!
• Housework is not more important that spending time with the baby. You will regret not spending time with your baby but you won’t regret not changing the towels on the right day.
• Plan your week in advance so that you have an arrangement on each day
• singing and keeping your voice level helps to chill the situation out when you feel like you are going to loose it. Hearing yourself angry only heightens the anger
• When you want to have a shower, bring a bouncy seat into the bathroom and put the baby in it. That way you know your little one is safe and entertained while you shower, and you free up a few precious minutes of the baby's sleep time to do something else.
• The sales people at the baby shops are right, you will want to buy another (more practical) pram at 6 months!
• blindfold for feeding if bub gets distracted bottle or breast